


this is never gonna go our way

by bellamyblke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, I'm Sorry, abby being emotional, and there's a small bellamy breakdown, bellamy defending clarke as usual, kane being silent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3542534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamyblke/pseuds/bellamyblke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abby wants Bellamy to go find Clarke. Bellamy just wants Clarke to find herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is never gonna go our way

**Author's Note:**

> based off of this tumblr prompt: abby raises hell when finding out Clarke left and kane doesn't let her move around a lot cause of the Mt men drilling her so she sends Bellamy to get Clarke
> 
> i changed it a little bc i have a headcanon that bellamy is too respectful of clarke to try to force her to come back so instead i threw in major angst and i apologize for how short it is but....ENJOY xxx

 

“You let her do _what_?” Abby shrieks, Kane desperately trying to calm her down to no avail.

Bellamy winces and crosses his arms. He knew as soon as he stepped into the med bay to share the news, Clarke’s mother wouldn’t be happy. “I didn’t _let_ her do anything, Abby.  Clarke makes her own decisions, you know that.”

Abby angrily tries to sit up but soon cries out in pain and returns back to a resting position. “She’s not thinking straight,” she breathes out in a huff. “And now she’s out there alone because you didn’t do anything to stop her.”

“Hey,” Bellamy starts defensively, uncrossing his arms and moving towards Abby’s bed. “You think I didn’t try? Because I sure as hell did my best and it wasn’t enough.”

Clarke’s mother glares at Bellamy before shifting her gaze to Kane.  She grabs his hand and squeezes. “Help me stand up.”

“Abby, you need rest. You lost a lot of bone marrow-”

“I need to find my daughter. I’m standing whether you help me or not.”

Kane and Bellamy exchange a worried glance as Abby shifts on the bed, trying to let her legs dangle over the edge. She winces in agony and pauses, breathing hard. Her limbs shake with every inhale and Bellamy can see the moment Abby finally realizes that she’s too weak, too incapacitated to do anything other than rest.

“Fine,” Abby says through gritted teeth. She gives Bellamy a piercing look that sends a shock running through every bone in his body. “This is your fault. You go find her.”

Bellamy is appalled. It’s hardly Abby’s place to decide what’s best for Clarke after everything she’s been through. “No. She wants to be alone, Abby. We have to respect her decision and give her time.”

“Give her _time?_ Clarke’s alone outside the camp walls and you think _time_ is the best thing for her? She’ll die out there!” Abby’s voice escalates to a shout and Kane tries feebly to make her lie down again.

“You obviously don’t know your daughter very well. If anybody can make it out there alone, it’s Clarke,” Bellamy states with confidence.

Clarke’s mother shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes and Bellamy has to look away. He understands where her pain is coming from because he’s had _many_ thoughts about running after Clarke himself and each time he’s pushed them away because he knows she’d be unhappy with him. No matter how much it hurts to be without her, he respects her too much to disobey her orders.

“How can you call yourself her friend?” Abby nearly sobs.

This makes Bellamy angry. He’s been more of a friend to her than her own mother. “Because I understand her, Abby. I know what she’s feeling right now. Clarke needs this time alone to heal, to come to terms with what she’s had to do to keep all of these people safe, to keep _you_ safe. She’s had to bear burdens bigger than any of us in this camp and you expect her not to crack under the weight of it all?”

“I expect her to face it. To be a part of this community and help us recover.”

“Saving nearly everyone in Mount Weather wasn’t enough for you? Clarke hasn’t spent one moment thinking about anything other than our people ever since you sent her to the ground. God forbid she actually starts thinking about herself for a change,” Bellamy says with increased vigour, fists clenched at his sides.

Abby is silent now, her face twisting with sorrow.

“This is what Clarke wants. Honour your daughter by letting her have this, just once,” he says softly

Clarke’s mother nods before turning away and sobbing into Kane’s shirt loudly. Bellamy takes this as his cue to exit and backs out of the med bay quietly.  As he walks down the corridor, his mind wanders to something Abby said that sticks out to him.

_I expect her to face it._

He’s brought back to another time that seems like eons ago, where Clarke had said something similar to him.

_You have to face it._

Bellamy stops suddenly and leans against the wall of the corridor before shifting to slam his back into it. He tilts his head back and squeezes his eyes shut, a few tears spilling onto his cheeks and racing down towards his jaw.  He realizes that he’s broken too, already buckling under the pressure of responsibility and making decisions without her. Abby’s only the first of many problems he’ll have to deal with.

He sighs, wiping at his face and whispers across the empty corridor, “I bear it, so you don’t have to, Clarke.”

He slumps to the ground and lets out the rest of his anguish where nobody else can hear him.


End file.
